I had lunch with my “family” today….

Hey, X! Why do you have family in quotes? Well, I’ll tell you. Let me list the family members who all were at lunch:

  • Me
  • My hubby
  • My hubby’s ex-wife
  • My hubby’s ex-wife’s hubby
  • My stepson
  • My stepson’s girlfriend.

The fact that my hubby and I had lunch with his son and girlfriend is not so strange. But me and my hubby having lunch with my ex-wife-in-law and her new husband? What the heck?

Well, it’s like this: I married my hubby 12 1/2 years ago. When we married, I moved from my lifelong home in California, and moved to Oklahoma with him so we could live in the same town with his three kids who lived with their mom.

Immediately, my hubby’s ex-wife welcomed me into the family with open arms, literally! She actually gave me a hug. So, she set the tone for our relationship.

We all seemed to have an unspoken agreement that the kids came first, no matter what. My hubby’s ex-wife and I have always gotten along great. Over the years, we have all spent various holidays together, from time to time, especially when the kids were younger.

I thought it was great that the kids could see both their mom and dad on Christmas morning, or Easter, or Thanksgiving Day, or Independence Day, birthdays, or even for a trip to the zoo once in a while.

You wanna hear something funny? We went to my hubby’s ex-wife’s wedding to her hubby! We already knew him because he had been the kids’ soccer coach. We were all already friends.

The occasion today was the fact that my stepson was flying back from his mission trip in Peru, and his girlfriend had just gotten back from her mission trip in Argentina. Because of our history of the last 12 1/2 years, it seemed only natural for us to all meet him at the airport and us all to have lunch together afterwards.

After lunch, everybody all hugged everybody. My ex-wife-in-law will always be the mother of my hubby’s children. She is family. Her hubby is family, too. Everybody hugged everybody. Everybody! We are all one big family.

I’m glad it is this way. My mother and father did not get along. Ever since I was 10 years old, I never saw both parents for a holiday or birthday. I did not want my hubby’s kids to go through what I went though.

When I moved to Oklahoma when I married, I left my mother, father and brothers in California. I’m happy that I have another family here.


I was just trying to figure out what “category” to put this in. Here’s the deal: Before I met my hubby, I did not like kids. I did not want kids, I did not want to be with kids. I did not want to be with a man who had kids.

Then I met the man God chose to be my hubby, and he had three kids…. (Now, the youngest is 20, but at the time, the youngest was just turning 8)

When I met my hubby-to-be, I did not believe in God, but he was a born again Christian, and he taught me about God. Once I came to believe in God, and gave my heart to Jesus, and married my hubby, my bad feelings about kids went away. They were immediately replaced with love for my new stepchildren.

God changed my heart. So, I’m going to select “My Faith” as the category for this post.

(If anybody made it this far down, Click Here.)


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Filed under My Faith

4 responses to “I had lunch with my “family” today….

  1. X-Evolutionist

    A bump for families of all kinds. X

  2. Jen

    X; it\’s so GOOD to see something like this. It just goes to show that what we\’ve been taught as "normal", like, you know – split marriages, families who won\’t speak to each other, friends who fall out, etc., can be turned on its head. Not a miracle in the biblical sense, just people who, by knowing how to think and act intelligently, can choose to make life for each other as easy as possible. It\’s the first time I\’ve ever come across this, and it\’s amazing. Like reading a page of a book but seeing the sun instead of words.May sound silly but hey, I know what I mean:-D

  3. X-Evolutionist

    Wow, Jen. Thanks for the nice comments!! This is beautiful: "Like reading a page of a book but seeing the sun instead of words." WOW. X

  4. X-Evolutionist

    Family bump

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