Goodbye Lily. We will miss you very much…

DSC02281

Our little bitty doggie Lily, died, last night. As I have done in the past, I’m going to use my blog to deal with my feelings and write a tribute to her:

We first saw Lily a couple of years ago in the waiting room of a vet’s office, (not our usual vet, but a bird specialist that we had taken my cockatiel, Penny, to).

She was literally skin and bones. She was a stray or abandoned and a couple had found her and brought her in for medical treatment. After that, they were going to try to find her a home as they already had a houseful of dogs.

My hubby had been wanting a little bitty dog to add to our family, and I had agreed that when we saw one who needed us that we would take it home. We immediately looked at each other and knew that this pitiful little doggie was going home with us. On the way home, we stopped at Petsmart to get her a leash. I was afraid we were going to get arrested for not feeding her, she was literally that skinny.

Lily came home with us, and gradually gained weight, and we found out more about her. It didn’t take us long to find out that she was totally deaf. Then, we realized she was practically blind. Our regular vet told us that she was probably at least 13 years old. My hubby and I realized that God picked us to take care of this little doggie and let her live out her old age years in a loving home.

Lily was a Rottweiler trapped in a little doggie’s body. She was only a foot and a half long, but in her mind she was ferocious. She never let her size get in the way of her attitude. But, she had a wide range of emotions. For some reason, this little doggie loved to get trapped, and let her daddy (my hubby) rescue her.

Here she is stuck totally inside all four legs of a stool, waiting for her rescue. Lily loved getting in positions for her Daddy to rescue her. She would (intentionally) get herself stuck in the funniest places. One time, she crawled into my crochet basket and got stuck. She was so cute, and it was just her size, that my crochet basket became her little bed.

Each time she got stuck, my hubby would “rescue” her, pick her up and baby her, saying: oh, did the poor baby get stuck?  Well, of course, the "poor baby" learned to get herself stuck more and more often so she could get my hubby to cuddle her on cue. My hubby was wrapped around her little paw. She loved being babied by my hubby, and my hubby was the right man for the job. Lily was my hubby’s baby.DSC02217

At first, she was a happy little doggie. First thing in the morning, when she felt the best, she would run outside with our other dogs. We called her our bucking bronco. Her front end and back end were so far away from each other that she looked like a see saw, alternate ends going up and down, bucking like a wild horse. She would make us laugh out loud.

Then, one day, she couldn’t get up. All of a sudden, her back end did not work. We took her to the vet and got steroids to hopefully allow her to walk again. But, in the meanwhile, we had to loop her leash under her back end, to hold it up, while she walked with her front legs.

She gradually regained the ability to walk, but she was never the same after that. She never was our little bucking bronco again. Once in a while, we would see one or two bucks when she would try to run, but it was not like it used to be.

Then, recently, Lily started going downhill fast. My hubby and I agonized over what what the right thing to do. In addition to being blind and deaf, she was also now incontinent and confused. She would walk in circles constantly, plus her hair was falling out. I called our vet’s office a couple of weeks ago, and asked about what was right for her, wondering if she was having a happy life. I was told to think about her point of view: What would we want if we were in the same situation?

So, my hubby and I talked about it some more and decided that we would just try to keep her as comfortable as possible and wait for the inevitable.

As she got more and more confused, her circles got smaller and smaller, and more erratic – rather that walk around the whole room, her circles were down to three feet across. It was hard not to trip on her, and the other dogs were frustrated that she did not understand the rules of dog society as she would walk right into them, or across their bed while they were sleeping. They would growl at her, to warn her, but being deaf, it did not help. The situation was difficult.

A few weeks ago, we had to decide to just keep her leash tied next to a doggie bed, for her safety and ours. As she always loved naps, this worked out pretty good. Between walks outside to try to get her to go potty, and breakfast and dinner, Lily was usually on her bed, asleep. At night, she slept in her basket, within reach of my hubby, and during the day, she slept on a doggie bed in the living room, where most of the action is during the day while my hubby is at work.

My hubby and I still didn’t like that she had to be tied up. Sometimes, we would let her have the laundry room all to herself, so she wouldn’t have to be on a leash, but she would just walk in circles until she fell asleep. It was not much of a life for Lily. Still, we worried whether we were doing the right thing. When we take in a pet who needs us, we let it live the rest of its life with us.

I did not feel right about artificially cutting that life short unnaturally. I have had two dogs put to sleep, one who had cancer, and one who became allergic to her own blood. They were both suffering, but I never got over it, and I didn’t want to do it again unless I had to. Lily was confused and confined, but she wasn’t suffering, I reasoned.

But, all in all, we knew she was dying. We prayed that when death came, it would come all at once, so she wouldn’t have to suffer.

So, last night, my hubby put Lily outside to go potty before bed. When he went back out to get her, she looked lifeless. My hubby cried “Please help me” and I ran to see what was happening. We both tried mouth to mouth resuscitation, but she was gone. (When I had my dog, Bo, put to sleep when she had immune mediated hemolytic anemia, I had seen the “light go out” in her eyes. I saw the same thing in Lily. I knew she was gone….)

My hubby and I both get very attached to our pets, some pets more than others. I knew that Lily was my hubby’s baby, so I had to be strong for him. I did not let myself feel any feelings last night. I had to take care of my hubby. I had to be the strong one as we went out in the rain and buried Lily….

Goodbye Lily, we will miss you very much.

X

Pictures of our short time with Lily:

Lily in her pink winer jacket Lily in her pink winter jacket checking out the snow in our backyard.

Lily getting a wheel barrow ride Lily enjoying a ride around the yard in the wheel barrow courtesy of my hubby.

lilly[1] Lily in the sunshine

Lily, the bucking bronco, with her ears flying, trying to catch up with the bigger dogs. Belty, black dog, and Nicki with the pointy ears are twice as big as Lily. With Lily in the air, in mid stride, the picture makes her look like one of the big dogs. She’d like that…

Lily trying to keep up with Belty and Nicki

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” Will Rogers

(edited to add: I looked up when we first met Lily. It was April 28, 2006, so we shared our life with Lily for just under three years. Here’s the blog I wrote when we first met Lily)

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36 Comments

Filed under Cockatiels, Dogs, Pets

36 responses to “Goodbye Lily. We will miss you very much…

  1. Greg

    Great post, X. Sorry for your loss. I was instantly reminded of John Grogan\’s parting statement from the film Marley & Me: "A dog has no use for fancy cars, or big homes, or designer clothes. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart, and he’ll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare, and pure, and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?"

  2. FATMAN

    Hi, I am so sorry for your loss, I have had dogs all my life and I know well the pain of losing a good friend. I think you have to look on the brightside of this story as you gave Lily a good ending as loving owners and you know she will have loved you for that dignity.

  3. X-Evolutionist

    Thank you, Greg. I love that quote. I am reminded of a line from an old Twilight Zone episode called "The Hunt". A man and a hound dog die during a coon hunt, and the man thinks he is on the road to heaven. When he gets there, they don\’t let in Rip, the hound dog. The man refuses to go in under those circumstances, and keeps walking. Further down the road, he meets a man who tells him that the other place was Hell and tells him why they don\’t take dogs: "A man, well, he\’ll walk into heaven with both eyes open, but not even the devil can fool a dog".

  4. X-Evolutionist

    Thank you, Fatman.

  5. Jen

    Dreadfully sorry to read this, X, but so glad you have happy memories of Lily. My husband\’s best friend was Polo, a dog we had until just over two years ago. There\’s never an easy parting, X, and I truly wish your Hubby better soon. I understand you wanted to be strong for him but don\’t forget your own feelings, too.

  6. Gerry

    Hi X,I\’m really sorry to hear about your dog Lily. When I was a kid, we had a big white samoyed dog named Blaze, that lived until I was almost out of high school. He was like part of the family, and when he died it seemed really weird that he wasn\’t around anymore. I hope things start going better for you, as I see that you have been going through a lot lately.

  7. Tracey

    Ahww X, l know what it\’s like. l\’m so sorry.l love the pics you posted and loved reading what Lily was like. Quite the daddy\’s girl!(((HUGS)))

  8. X-Evolutionist

    Thank you Jen. Posting this blog is my main way of dealing with my feelings. I\’ve posted way too many blogs like this, and it never gets any easier. X

  9. X-Evolutionist

    Thank you, Gerry. I\’m glad you had such a good dog as Blaze.

  10. X-Evolutionist

    Thank you, Tracey. Yes, Lily was most definitely a Daddy\’s Girl. My hubby just read this tribute on his lunch hour (keeping busy is how he deals with sadness). He liked hearing about Lily\’s silly ways and seeing the pictures of happier times. Our two other dogs are looking for Lily. Things are just different.

  11. Tracey

    Things are different. Your family is one member down. lt\’s going to be different, and difficult, for a while.l\’m so glad she had you both!

  12. Tracey

    l love the pics you chose. l would have thought she was hiding under the stool if you hadn\’t explained it.

  13. X-Evolutionist

    Thank you, Tracey. Lily loved getting in positions for her Daddy to rescue her. She would (intentionally) get herself stuck in the funniest places. One time, she crawled into my crochet basket and got stuck. She was so cute, and it was just her size, that my crochet basket became her little bed. Each time she got stuck, my hubby would rescue her, pick her up and baby her, saying: oh, did the poor baby get stuck? Well, of course, the "poor baby" learned to get herself stuck more and more often so she could get my hubby to cuddle her on cue. My hubby was wrapped around her little paw. This is very hard for him. He hasn\’t been this close to a pet that died since our parrot Peanut Boy. It took a long time to just remember the good times and not be sad. X

  14. ThisIsMyHomeRightHereWithYou

    Sorry to read about Lily, she looks a funny happy dog despite her blindness and deafness, Thankfully she had such loving owners ..

  15. X-Evolutionist

    Thank you SweetSunnySide. X

  16. Mandy

    I\’m so sorry X, I\’ve had a few dogs over the years, and know of the pain, their loss causes, and my heart goes out to you.

  17. X-Evolutionist

    Thank you, Mandy. It helps a lot to hear from people who understand. X

  18. Sandy

    I\’m so sorry that you\’ve had to lose her, but she was very fortunate to have you…

  19. X-Evolutionist

    Thank you Sandy.

  20. Tracey

    Yeah, l\’ve been there. lt\’s like losing a kid. l was in the pet food store and a guy there had lost his dog recently. He said it is the worst kind of loss. l agree–they are always with us and always stay "our kids". They don\’t grow up and move on.

  21. Brian

    Hi X, Sorry to hear that you have lost another pet in such a short time. Take Care, Brian

  22. Robin

    Hi X, So sorry about Lily, your loving tribute brought tear\’s to my eye\’s, I know the pain of losing a beloved pet and my heart goes out to you & hubby. One day at a time….God bless,Robin

  23. Curtis

    Hey X, I am so sorry for your loss. I hae lost a number of pets in my life and some of them you just can\’t get over for a while. My buddy Oscar that was taken from us is one of those dogs.

  24. Happy

    Dear X and family, sorry for loss of Lily. I have lost pets and it is so difficult. My heart really goes out to you, especially with death of a second pet. Take care. God Bless.

  25. Sue

    What a lovely tribute you have written about Lily, reading it made me well up with emotion as you described what you have been through. I lift you both before the Lord this morning, that you may receive His comfort and strength at this time. It will take time for the emotions to feel less raw, thankfully you have a lovely animal family that will be demanding and needing your attentions as much as they always have. May your heavenly Father give you all you need as you look it Him for strength and encouragement each day, with love Sue x

  26. X-Evolutionist

    @Everybody: Thank you all so very much for your kind words and prayers. I am sorry that I am unable to reply to everybody individually at this time. I still need time alone, and am not up to visiting yet. My hubby and I, plus our other two doggies, are taking a while to adjust to this change in our lives. My hubby and I have been looking at a lot of pictures of Lily these last couple of days. reminiscing, and trying to remember the happy Lily we shared our life with before her decline. That has been making it a little easier, but still…I am surprised, yet pleased, that so many of you were moved emotionally by what I wrote about Lily. I did not intend to write an inspiring story. I just wanted to tell Lily’s story and deal with my feelings. Taking care of Lily, and giving her a happy couple of last years, was difficult, yet very rewarding. Your kind words are very helpful to us. Thank you, again.

  27. Jen

    In dealing with your feelings, you also shared them with those on here who care about you as well. That\’s very humbling, X. Thank you for taking that time. We all do care. Come back to us when you\’re ready. We all just want to know you\’re both all right.Hugs.

  28. Jeffrey

    Oh X, I\’m really sorry about your loss. Hope you feel better soon!

  29. Tracey

    lt takes time. lt\’s a big loss.Lots of love l\’m sending you 😉

  30. Cassie

    With time you begin to remember the happy times and the love more than the pain of the loss…be gentle with yourself

  31. Kimmy

    Oh X.. I\’m so sorry. I sit here with tears for you. Lily was a special girl and God put you in just the right place at the right time for her. With Sadie being so sick right now, this news really hits close to home. Please know I\’m praying for you both. ((Hugs))

  32. Tamara

    God Bless you and your husband. You two are blessing to any animal and thank goodness you are able to care for them. I will continue to pray for your family in this time of sorrow. HugsTammie

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